Sooooooooo…. the year started badly. On New Years Day, I felt optimistic, full of good intentions, ready to take control of my life. Then three days later my brother nearly died. I won’t go into too many details but being told someone you love is going into surgery and might not come back out alive is the most terrifying of experiences. It’s only now that he’s finally home after so many weeks in an induced coma, and that he looks to be on his way to a full recovery, that I can write about it and start to make sense of it all.
I’ll cut to the chase: I’m not waiting anymore. I’m not hanging on for people to come round, for the time when I’ll past all my surgery and treatment, for the point when I can look at my transition and say, I’m finished. Because quite simply, life is way too fucking short, and I’ve put it off for too long. I want what everyone else has. I want to get the maximum out of every single opportunity that comes my way, but more importantly I want to make opportunities for myself. So I’m putting myself out there, I’ve put profile on dating sites, I’m going out and trying to meet people, and at the end of the year I hope I can look back and say that I’ve made it mine. Me and my family have been through so much over the last few years, and this latest setback is just another thing thats brought us closer together, and made us stronger as a team. And it’s not just my immediate family either; our aunts, uncles and cousins all demonstrated how family sticks together in tough times. So my cousins wedding that I was going to avoid going to out of fear? I’ll be there, because she was for my brother.
I’m sorry if this is a rambling, incoherent post. But I needed to write it, to get all of this down so I can look back on how I feel right now when darker times come back in the future.
Onwards!
A Circular Square 